Jealousy is something that most people feel at some point in life. For most of us these feelings pass quickly and without any real harm. However, when jealousy gets out of hand it can destroy relationships.
If your partner plays games with you or betrays you, you need to decide whether you wish to stay in the relationship. This kind of behaviour can make anyone feel jealous. However, most types if jealousy is not based on any real bad behaviour on the part of our partner.
If you want overcome such feelings you need to:
1. Accept that your jealousy has nothing to do with your partner but everything to do with how you feel about yourself. If you like yourself you come to realise that your partner wants to stay with you because he or she loves and wants you. Ask yourself why you think your partner should leave you? Why do you believe other people are more desirable than you? Do these feelings stem from childhood?
2. Jealousy is a form of insecurity – talk to your partner about how you feel and not about the jealousy. For example, “I am feeling bad and think you’ll go off with someone else” not “why did you talk to that man/woman”.
3. When you experience these feelings breathe slowly and deeply, telling yourself that you are a worthwhile person and your partner chooses to be with.
4. Accept that your feelings of insecurity will not go away overnight. They are something you are going to have to work on. See them rather like you would see an addiction to cigarettes – you have to work at stopping.
5. Ask your partner to help you. For example devise a simple code between you for when you are feeling low. Agree with your partner that when you say the word or make the movement this means I need some emotional support and he or she will then offer this to you. It may only mean making sure they put an arm round you.
6. Remember that your partner can only help you. They can only reasssure you to a point. You are the one that has to learn to deal with your feelings.